Meh

Welcome aboard.

Light change

There is a problem that threatens our planet and I have had it up to here debating it. The time for debate is over. I am talking, of course, about light change.

This planet is warming. Every single day, between 6 am and about 7 pm, the planet warms as much as 40 degrees! It gets the hottest around noon or so and then it starts to get cooler. And it's so bright that people have to wear sunglasses for fear of their eyeballs being singed right out of their head.

The light deniers out there think there is no problem. They say it's 'normal' for the planet to get much warmer and brighter every day. I say they are fools who are no better than people who think the planet is flat!

The time to fight light change is now. I propose a combination of a 'light tax' and a 'cap and trade' program to combat this terrible problem. Anyone who consumes light during the day will be required to buy 'light credits' which will be offset by people in Greenland who will go for months in darnkess to make up for all the light consumption by wasteful westerners. People should also have to pay a surcharge on activities that consume unnecessary light, such as walking around and looking at things. I think $1 per sunbeam is appropriate.

Good night and good luck.

Favorite Psych Quotes Part 1,448,459

"Oh, you mean my pilot's license? That's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked."

What They're Thinking

Pace my previous post, I've had time to ponder and I'd have to say that there's apparently a large subconscious movement within the church that yearns to have been there in person for all the major church historical events. Wasn't there even a movie recently? Passage to Zarahemla or something silly like that?

So I guess that's understandable, but it's something fairly unique to the church. For every Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court there are 16 "Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites" volumes. People seem to really like the 'fly on the wall' concept and thus you wind up with all kinds of time travel or faux revisionist historical drama wherein President Smith stops by John Steed's house to play Monopoly on his way to Cumorah.

To this, all I can think is that people in the church must have really, really liked Back to the Future 2 wherein Marty travels back in time again and sees himself playing "Johnny B. Goode" while looking for a book on off-track betting or something.

You Could Write a Book

I shared my business idea with my wife over the weekend. I'm going to write a new series of books called "AK-47s Among the Lamanites" and it will be about time traveling covert natives who hunt down and capture annoying LDS authors who insert fictional characters into church history (i.e Chris Humdinger, the Work and the Glory guy, many others).

This leads me to be upset again how very few LDS authors, musicians, or filmmakers seem to be able to create anything that isn't church-centric. I'm all for books/movies/tv shows/whatever that's clean and wholesome, but that doesn't mean that your lead characters have to be missionaries or home teachers every single time. Jared Hess made Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre-why can't they be more like him? If I had time and talent I would write something normal but non-churchy. It's cool that so many people are so into the church, but I feel it's better to be in the church but not of the church. There are some things in life that have absolutely nothing to do with the church, and that's OK. Building cabinets, for example, or picking out a nice hat.

What was my original point now?

What a retard

Seriously.