Tuesday, June 26, 2012


We recently re-watched the Tim Burton version of Willy Wonka. It was much funnier the 2nd time than it was the first go around. However, it has several flaws.

1. The songs, except for Veruka's, are really lame. I know Tim Burton loves Danny Elfman but Danny Elfman has only written one good pop song ever, ("Stay," by Oingo Boingo) and that was about 25 years ago. He should have got someone else to do the songs w/ lyrics and words and let Elfman stick to the score.
2. The only people at the end that learn anything are Willy Wonka and Veruka Salt's dad. Augustus Gloop is eating chocolate off his body, Mike Teavee is just really tall and flattened, Violet can do flips, and Veruka still wants ridiculous things. No one learned anything!
3. The wrong person won. Charlie won by default because he happened to luck out to not run into a room that would exploit his weakness. What naughty thing would he do? Be really annoying and poor and preachy. He's always quietly kind of moralizing and saying stupid things like, "it doesn't have to have a point. It's candy!" Plus he has big ears and looks really goofy. He's not cool at all, and he has a tender heart. Those are not good skills to succeed in business.

The real winner deserves to be Mike Teavee. He correctly deduces that Wonka's transporter is the most important invention ever and then personally tests it. That's my kind of CEO. He could have delegated it but he stepped right up. Plus he has good hair and a 'can do' attitude.

So the next person that remakes this movie (give it about 5 more years or so), please keep this in mind.

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