Requests?

Any cartoon requests? I'll take them in the comments.

T

Mike: Can we just go, please, can we go? 
Trent: Baby look at me, look at me. You're money, and you know what else? You're a big winner tonight. 
Mike: I want to leave. 
Trent: You're a big winner. I'm gonna ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me: who's the big winner here tonight at the casino? Huh? Mikey, that's who. Mikey's the big winner. Mikey wins. 


*(And yes, I know the cartoon looks nothing like Vince Vaughn)

Book review: Reckless, by Cornelia Funke

Blerg. OK so they can't all be winners.

I read Cornelia Funke's earlier book, The Thief Lord, several years ago, and really enjoyed it. But the movie of one of her other books, Inkheart, was unwatchably bad, and it made me wonder if that was because of the book or the filmmakers.

I recently saw that she had a new series, the 'Mirrorworld' series, and that readers seemed to like it. I decided to give her another shot. I shouldn't have.

The book is a page turner, in that you really want it to end. The writing is flat and humorlessness and the characters are poorly written and skin deep. In fact, when the main character dies at the half-way point, (he gets revived, don't worry), you actually admire it for killing off such a boring guy that you didn't care about.

For a youth book, it was a little risque. I think it's written on about an 8th grade level but I don't think it's appropriate for it.

They worked in the whole 'all the Grimm fairy tales were real!' thing that the entire planet has done to death lately. It's about a guy's brother that crosses into a magical world but starts turning into one of the bad guys, a race of warriors made out of stone.

I don't think it added a single original thing to the fantasy genre. It had fairies, elves, trolls, dwarves, all of that. Why doesn't someone dream up a new cool magical creature that isn't based on the entire planet's pre-existing mythology?

In the end, he cures his brother but gets betrayed and only has a year left to live. Literally every single bad guy in the entire book survives. Why not just just end on a big red page that says in all caps 'I REALLY WANT THIS TO BECOME A NEW POPULAR BOOK SERIES'?

Movie review: The Hobbit

(SPOILERS BELOW)

We saw The Hobbit the other day. It was OK. Normally I would summarize the plot but I think everyone is pretty familiar with it. Quickly, it's just a prequel to the Lord of the Rings movies in which Bilbo meets Gandalf and goes on an adventure with 12 dwarves to try to re-claim their mountain kingdom from a dragon that invaded it and is hoarding all their gold.

Along the way they sing songs, banter, spend a great deal of time exploring the very scary and dark back-story of "Thorin Oakenshield," the dwarf prince guy that is leading them, and they run into trolls and Gollum and other people.

What I liked:
1. Very good acting and casting, especially with Martin Freeman as Bilbo.
2. Great production values. The sets and scenery and places they go are all very cool and creative.
3. Decent special effects. Gollum in particular looks excellent.
4. Elrond Hubbard was much more active this time. He rode a horse and had a personality. Much better than in LOTR where he just stood there in his silky jammies and talked slowly.
5. Good music.
6. It looks like it would have been good in 3D.

What I didn't like:
1. They shouldn't have gone with the whole 'white orc' storyline thing. It was irrelevant to the Hobbit and was dark and violent and really ruined the tone of the film. It was supposed to be this lighthearted heist adventure film and instead was all about decapitations and scary monsters.
2. What was the point of the meeting at Rivendell? It just slowed the movie down and made it just seem like an imitation of LOTR 1.
3. Too much CGI.
4. Why did Smaug want the gold? He's a dragon. What's he going to spend it on? Some pants?
5.  Not enough Bilbo.
6. 'What's in my pocket' is not a riddle. It's a totally unfair question. That's like saying 'what color are the new underpants I bought in 1987' or 'what's my favorite breakfast cereal.' By definition, this question clearly shouldn't have counted.
7. It's ridiculous that anyone could hang on to the knees of a giant stone monster when he's fighting other giant stone monsters. You would fall off.
8. Gandalf helps too much. He saves everyone from everything. No one has to use any ingenuity (although Bilbo did a little bit in the part with the trolls). They just have to wait for Gandalf to get there.
9. What lesson did we learn? Not to underestimate Hobbits. That's about it.
10. What was in it for Gandalf? He never really says. Does he want the money or something? I couldn't figure out why he was along for all of this.

I heard they're going to wrap up the Smaug stuff in the next film and then have a 'giant battle' for the 3rd film. Ug. Do we really want to see another giant Lord of the Rings battle? That was the entire 2nd and 3rd LOTR movies. We've already been there. Let's do something else. Like end on the 2nd movie...

TE

The Examiner: You know what I ask myself every morning, Tim?
Tim: "Am I sober?"

ED

"So far from abolishing God, modern science - astrophysics, in particular - comes near abolishing atheism."

-Elmer Davis