We've got a video roundup for our readers today. First, a cute pet trick:
Next, the best dubbing ever done ever on the planet:
Tune in later for a new 80s video review!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Pet Tax Exemption
This is an absolutely excellent article from actor Robert Davi arguing for the creation of a tax deduction for owning a pet. I admit I'd never considered the economic and social benefits of owning a pet but he makes a very convincing case. Even if his only point had been talking about how much gov't money is wasted trying to rescue pets and a tax deduction encouraging pet adoptions, I would have been sold. Worth a read for any pet lovers or potential pet lovers out there.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
A really good name for a band
With apologies to Dave Barry, a really good name for a band would be "Steve and the Meat Department." Inspired by a recent trip to Albertsons.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
"I'm sure there's a story in there somewhere."
This is the funniest thing you'll read all month long. Jonah Goldberg posted a link to it on National Review's site and said "My one criticism is that they should have had someone defending the president's privacy. This is between him and the families of the victims, after all." I wrote to him and said "I’d also have liked to see someone blaming the Obama double homicide on the ‘culture of violence’ that President Bush created." and he replied and said 'yes!', which is cool. JG is a conservative celebrity to us political nerds.
Four score and 152 years ago
For my college class on Political Communication, our final project is to form groups and run a press conference for a fictional presidential candidate. My group decided to make our candidate a communist named 'Feliciy.' Our motto is 'security. unity. felicity.' My role in the group is speechwriter and logo designer. The following is the rough draft of the speech I came up with for the press conference. It was fun. The whole thing about people with mullets was that we decided we needed to 'scapegoat' someone as in fascism, etc. And mullets seemed the least offensive thing we could find.
A spectre is haunting America. This spectre is not some unseen phantom but is real and tangible. This spectre does not conceal itself but marches in the open. From this spectre, no one is safe.
Four score and 152 years ago, our forefathers established this great country to enshrine liberty and protect freedom for everyone who wished to enter its borders. We have had the misfortune to live in times that have seen that spirit of liberty become shrouded in fear and darkness. From this battle, we must not shrink.
Though our troubles are serious, we are brave. Where those who would ensnare us would have us submit, we will defy. When storm clouds gather, we will buy an umbrella, and maybe some of those rubber shoes. Not the skateboarding ones, but the bigger ones. And when our enemies assail us, we will remain standing. Because against the mulleted-Americans, there can be no surrender.
Look around you. Most everyone in the country knows or mingles with a mulleted-American. These who possess mullets do so proudly, and without shame. And yet we know that they are the destroyers of all the things we hold dear.
The people cry for better healthcare, and the mulleted ones tie up our emergency rooms with their mullet-related machinery injuries. The people cry for the ability to protect themselves and their families, and the mulleted ones waste all the good bullets shooting at road signs. The people cry for a cleaner environment and the mulleted ones pollute the atmosphere with their Aquanet and extra-large Wal Mart mullet gels. The people cry. And I cry too.
All around you the people cry for police protection, and the mulleted ones tie up all the officers by appearing on COPS, being arrested for assaulting their neighbor’s TV when the bowling championship was preempted for news on the Somali Pirates. The people cry for a financial responsibility and the mulleted ones have just taken out the 3rd mortgage on their double wide so they can buy pro wrestling tickets. The people cry for more attractive neighborhoods, and the mulleted ones have just taken apart their El Camino and strewn the parts all over their front yard. The people cry. And I cry too. Though it might be business up front, the party in the back is destroying this great country.
While it’s true that our problems can be blamed on those with mullets, the solutions can only come from one person alone, and that person is me: Felicity. For you see, I know the enemy. I have looked into their eyes and I have emerged victorious.
A long time ago I was in a relationship with someone who sported a mullet. This was a dark time in my life. I went with him to NASCAR races, I watched as he tipped cows, and I waited in the car when he followed Lynyrd Skynyrd around on their 1997 “Freebird Forever” tour. The relationship did not end well.
Since birth I have always made sure that the hair on the front of my head was the same length as the hair on the back. This makes me uniquely qualified to lead us out of the darkness. To do this, comrades, there is only one plan.
First, we must be secure. Secure in the knowledge that the mulleted ones will be captured and shaved. We will be secure against all things, and we must protect ourselves from any outside influence that could ignite again into the inferno that is mullets in society.
To do this, we will close all the borders. No more trade with anyone. No one gets in, and no one gets out. It is the only way. You ask if you can still visit your friends across the Atlantic. Of course you can. As long as they don’t have mullets, we will bring them here to America to visit you, where they will not be allowed to leave. As for visiting Hawaii, that is something that only the Felicity senior administration officials will be allowed to do, to personally ensure that the mulleted ones do not break free and attempt to gain control of our nation’s body surfing and pineapple industries.
We will all be secure because we will all work. There will be no shortage of labor and no surplus of labor. The recent financial crisis in America has shown Capitalism to be a scary and unfair sham that punishes people who make poor financial decisions. Never again will the people, or as I refer to them, the ‘proletariat,’ have to fear financial insecurity. We have no need of feeling alienated from those who control the means of production. Under my America, the government will control the means of production, and there will be joy. We will be as secure as something that is really, really secure. Really secure.
In my America, we will be secure against historical revisionism. The fools who control the media will be sent to live with the mulleted ones. Maybe not in the general population, but on the premises, perhaps up in a tree fort. I will control all the information in the schools and in the news media. We cannot trust those who lie to us and who would use their biases to obscure and suppress the news they do not find palatable. In my America, there will be no secrets, and we will all be secure in the knowledge that we no longer need to protect our identities one from another, because all information everywhere will be published. As brothers and sisters we will march into a new dawn, arm in arm. Except for me-I will be carried. But the rest of you, arm in arm.
The second pillar of my plan is unity. We will be as one in Felicity’s America. There will be shared responsibility and shared rewards. We will take things away from you for the common good, and we will distribute to those who have less. In Felicity’s America, no one will be any better than anyone else. People talk extensively about the importance of diversity. I declare to the proletariat of America that I am diversity made flesh. We are all individuals who, with our various talents, will collectively run the perfect machine that is the country we will create.
In Felicity’s America, we will require you to work. We will demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your divisions. I will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed.
Though difference in class between you, the people, the proletariat, and me, the bourgeoisie, are severe, I will deign to lead you. And that is because I am the third pillar of my plan.
Only through Felicity are all things possible. Only Felicity can heal your hearts and mend your shattered dreams. Only Felicity can go to China. Only Felicity can cause this to be the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this will be the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.
Yea, though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you will fear no evil, for Felicity is with you. Together, we will defeat the mulleted ones and we will endure the barbs of capitalism and of super gelled hair and “I think your tractor is sexy” t-shirts. I am the way. Vote for me, or I will smite you.
Thank you and have a good night. Drive safely, everyone.
A spectre is haunting America. This spectre is not some unseen phantom but is real and tangible. This spectre does not conceal itself but marches in the open. From this spectre, no one is safe.
Four score and 152 years ago, our forefathers established this great country to enshrine liberty and protect freedom for everyone who wished to enter its borders. We have had the misfortune to live in times that have seen that spirit of liberty become shrouded in fear and darkness. From this battle, we must not shrink.
Though our troubles are serious, we are brave. Where those who would ensnare us would have us submit, we will defy. When storm clouds gather, we will buy an umbrella, and maybe some of those rubber shoes. Not the skateboarding ones, but the bigger ones. And when our enemies assail us, we will remain standing. Because against the mulleted-Americans, there can be no surrender.
Look around you. Most everyone in the country knows or mingles with a mulleted-American. These who possess mullets do so proudly, and without shame. And yet we know that they are the destroyers of all the things we hold dear.
The people cry for better healthcare, and the mulleted ones tie up our emergency rooms with their mullet-related machinery injuries. The people cry for the ability to protect themselves and their families, and the mulleted ones waste all the good bullets shooting at road signs. The people cry for a cleaner environment and the mulleted ones pollute the atmosphere with their Aquanet and extra-large Wal Mart mullet gels. The people cry. And I cry too.
All around you the people cry for police protection, and the mulleted ones tie up all the officers by appearing on COPS, being arrested for assaulting their neighbor’s TV when the bowling championship was preempted for news on the Somali Pirates. The people cry for a financial responsibility and the mulleted ones have just taken out the 3rd mortgage on their double wide so they can buy pro wrestling tickets. The people cry for more attractive neighborhoods, and the mulleted ones have just taken apart their El Camino and strewn the parts all over their front yard. The people cry. And I cry too. Though it might be business up front, the party in the back is destroying this great country.
While it’s true that our problems can be blamed on those with mullets, the solutions can only come from one person alone, and that person is me: Felicity. For you see, I know the enemy. I have looked into their eyes and I have emerged victorious.
A long time ago I was in a relationship with someone who sported a mullet. This was a dark time in my life. I went with him to NASCAR races, I watched as he tipped cows, and I waited in the car when he followed Lynyrd Skynyrd around on their 1997 “Freebird Forever” tour. The relationship did not end well.
Since birth I have always made sure that the hair on the front of my head was the same length as the hair on the back. This makes me uniquely qualified to lead us out of the darkness. To do this, comrades, there is only one plan.
First, we must be secure. Secure in the knowledge that the mulleted ones will be captured and shaved. We will be secure against all things, and we must protect ourselves from any outside influence that could ignite again into the inferno that is mullets in society.
To do this, we will close all the borders. No more trade with anyone. No one gets in, and no one gets out. It is the only way. You ask if you can still visit your friends across the Atlantic. Of course you can. As long as they don’t have mullets, we will bring them here to America to visit you, where they will not be allowed to leave. As for visiting Hawaii, that is something that only the Felicity senior administration officials will be allowed to do, to personally ensure that the mulleted ones do not break free and attempt to gain control of our nation’s body surfing and pineapple industries.
We will all be secure because we will all work. There will be no shortage of labor and no surplus of labor. The recent financial crisis in America has shown Capitalism to be a scary and unfair sham that punishes people who make poor financial decisions. Never again will the people, or as I refer to them, the ‘proletariat,’ have to fear financial insecurity. We have no need of feeling alienated from those who control the means of production. Under my America, the government will control the means of production, and there will be joy. We will be as secure as something that is really, really secure. Really secure.
In my America, we will be secure against historical revisionism. The fools who control the media will be sent to live with the mulleted ones. Maybe not in the general population, but on the premises, perhaps up in a tree fort. I will control all the information in the schools and in the news media. We cannot trust those who lie to us and who would use their biases to obscure and suppress the news they do not find palatable. In my America, there will be no secrets, and we will all be secure in the knowledge that we no longer need to protect our identities one from another, because all information everywhere will be published. As brothers and sisters we will march into a new dawn, arm in arm. Except for me-I will be carried. But the rest of you, arm in arm.
The second pillar of my plan is unity. We will be as one in Felicity’s America. There will be shared responsibility and shared rewards. We will take things away from you for the common good, and we will distribute to those who have less. In Felicity’s America, no one will be any better than anyone else. People talk extensively about the importance of diversity. I declare to the proletariat of America that I am diversity made flesh. We are all individuals who, with our various talents, will collectively run the perfect machine that is the country we will create.
In Felicity’s America, we will require you to work. We will demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your divisions. I will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed.
Though difference in class between you, the people, the proletariat, and me, the bourgeoisie, are severe, I will deign to lead you. And that is because I am the third pillar of my plan.
Only through Felicity are all things possible. Only Felicity can heal your hearts and mend your shattered dreams. Only Felicity can go to China. Only Felicity can cause this to be the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this will be the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.
Yea, though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you will fear no evil, for Felicity is with you. Together, we will defeat the mulleted ones and we will endure the barbs of capitalism and of super gelled hair and “I think your tractor is sexy” t-shirts. I am the way. Vote for me, or I will smite you.
Thank you and have a good night. Drive safely, everyone.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Disturbing Strokes
Goodness gracious this made me laugh so hard I cried. It's the opening credits to Diff'rent Strokes redone with an alternate soundtrack.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Diddly qua-qua
Something very odd happened this week. I heard a new No Doubt song-an enthusiastic remake of the quirky "Stand and Deliver" by Adam & The Ants-on the radio. Not on the internet! The only mention of the song on the internet whatsoever was a brief blurb on RollingStone.com on April 8th with a link to a YouTube 'video' of the song being played over the top of a still picture of the band.
So it was completely bizarre that I was even listening to the radio in the first place but it was just a quirk of being in the right place at the right time. But the real oddity came when I discovered you couldn't download the song on iTunes. It wasn't on there anywhere, which in 2009 is digital blasphemy.
This made me so upset that I went out to determine the reason for this outrage. It turns out the band is offering a digital download of their entire catalog if people buy a ticket to a No Doubt concert this year. The new song is included in this offer, making this an act of deliberation.
I can see it both ways on this issue. On one hand it's a good way to drive ticket sales, but it's not like the difference of one new song is going to tip the scales for anyone who doesn't think getting a digital download of the band's entire career isn't sweet enough of a deal with the purchase of a concert ticket. For example, I love the song but would not go to one of their concerts. On the other hand the new song is great exposure for the band-releasing it to the world's largest music retailer-iTunes-would probably be better for the band for increasing awareness of their tour and the digital catalog offer than just letting it float around on the ancient radio, of all things.
So Christian give this decision two thumbs down and will now have to wait for the song to get leaked onto the internet in MP3 form somewhere, where otherwise I would have happily spent $.99 cents of my iTunes gift card credit on the track. For shame, No Doubt. For...shame....
UPDATE: Great, now they took it down from YouTube so no one can hear it but me. In my mind.
UPDATE UPDATE: Wow! For now the track can be downloaded from this page and the world can share in my joy.
So it was completely bizarre that I was even listening to the radio in the first place but it was just a quirk of being in the right place at the right time. But the real oddity came when I discovered you couldn't download the song on iTunes. It wasn't on there anywhere, which in 2009 is digital blasphemy.
This made me so upset that I went out to determine the reason for this outrage. It turns out the band is offering a digital download of their entire catalog if people buy a ticket to a No Doubt concert this year. The new song is included in this offer, making this an act of deliberation.
I can see it both ways on this issue. On one hand it's a good way to drive ticket sales, but it's not like the difference of one new song is going to tip the scales for anyone who doesn't think getting a digital download of the band's entire career isn't sweet enough of a deal with the purchase of a concert ticket. For example, I love the song but would not go to one of their concerts. On the other hand the new song is great exposure for the band-releasing it to the world's largest music retailer-iTunes-would probably be better for the band for increasing awareness of their tour and the digital catalog offer than just letting it float around on the ancient radio, of all things.
So Christian give this decision two thumbs down and will now have to wait for the song to get leaked onto the internet in MP3 form somewhere, where otherwise I would have happily spent $.99 cents of my iTunes gift card credit on the track. For shame, No Doubt. For...shame....
UPDATE: Great, now they took it down from YouTube so no one can hear it but me. In my mind.
UPDATE UPDATE: Wow! For now the track can be downloaded from this page and the world can share in my joy.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Whew
All you parents out there need to explanation regarding where I've been the last 2 weeks. It's been topsy turvy but life is finally into a decent groove, and Maddy's nerd training continues tonight with a new episode of Lost.
To catch anyone up who wanted vitals, baby arrived on 3/26/09 via c-section and was 7 lbs, 1 oz. The first week was a little rough as she had jaundice and thrush and Jan was dealing with c-section aftermath but I think we're out of the woods now, knock on wood.
Mom & Mads had a photo shoot this morning. The results of that shoot are as follows:
To catch anyone up who wanted vitals, baby arrived on 3/26/09 via c-section and was 7 lbs, 1 oz. The first week was a little rough as she had jaundice and thrush and Jan was dealing with c-section aftermath but I think we're out of the woods now, knock on wood.
Mom & Mads had a photo shoot this morning. The results of that shoot are as follows:
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