Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Light change

There is a problem that threatens our planet and I have had it up to here debating it. The time for debate is over. I am talking, of course, about light change.

This planet is warming. Every single day, between 6 am and about 7 pm, the planet warms as much as 40 degrees! It gets the hottest around noon or so and then it starts to get cooler. And it's so bright that people have to wear sunglasses for fear of their eyeballs being singed right out of their head.

The light deniers out there think there is no problem. They say it's 'normal' for the planet to get much warmer and brighter every day. I say they are fools who are no better than people who think the planet is flat!

The time to fight light change is now. I propose a combination of a 'light tax' and a 'cap and trade' program to combat this terrible problem. Anyone who consumes light during the day will be required to buy 'light credits' which will be offset by people in Greenland who will go for months in darnkess to make up for all the light consumption by wasteful westerners. People should also have to pay a surcharge on activities that consume unnecessary light, such as walking around and looking at things. I think $1 per sunbeam is appropriate.

Good night and good luck.


Hillary said...

Granted, my skin does not accept this thing you call light and I am blindingly white to the human eye, nonetheless, I still crave this light.

Maybe I just need to start hanging out with Bill Compton.

Kevan said...

You are preaching to my choir...