Wednesday, September 23, 2009

10 Things I Hate About U

10. I hate the many bulletins that line your dingy walls. Advertising about an anti-capitalism rallies, within walking distance of the malls.
9. I hate your corn-based food-related products, such as forks, spoons, and straws. I also hate your aging female faculty members, with their Birkenstocks and no bras.
8. I hate your high tuition, your fees and fines and parking cost. I hate all that construction, and my tendency to get lost.
7. I hate your outright bias, groupthink, and godless commie lectures. I spend most classes shooting invisible laser beams at the overhead projectors.
6. I hate your flipping group projects, your activities and panels. I hate your beardedd professors, with tweed jackets and some flannels.
5. I hate all your bumper stickers, like "Department of Peace" and "Obama/Biden 08." In protest I would rock my McCain/Palin, but as a candidate, the Mav wasn't that great.
4. I hate your Coke products, they're everywhere and suck. At least get a Pepsi Machine, you really stupid Huckabee-hating people.
3. I hate that you have no parking, and would rather plant grass than spaces. If I wanted to wander in the wilderness, I would have bought some stronger laces.
2. I hate your whole location, it's way too far away. Is it because of your proximity to the Avenues and their population, gay?
1. I hate the students' whining, their skewered world view. The only thing I would hate more is waking up as you.

Friday, September 4, 2009

It's almost like some kind of pattern

Don Surber made me laugh today:

The Gazette editorialized that proponents have pushed universal health care for 97 years.

Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail.

I think the American people have spoken, but keep doing the same thing and expecting different results, guys.