JOBS: a new series

I'm going to start a new series on the blog: chronicling all of the crappy jobs that I've had. There have been many; it will be a long series. When it's all done I'll extract it into my journal so I can have it documented for posterity, at the very least as a cautionary tale for others.

I'm probably going to get the timeline here mixed up. There were several years where one thing just kind of morphed into another. But this series will cover, with any luck, all of it. And if it's a bit depressing, know that I ultimately survived, and all this insanity combined to make me the normal and well-adjusted gentleman I am today.

JOB 1: Stephen Wade Auto Center, St. George, UT

                                      

TIME ON THE JOB:

Somewhere from 1-3 years

My first jobs were just little odd jobs here and there. The very first thing I remember ever getting 'hired' to do was to help out in a lady in our family friend Jeannie's ward by doing some yard work. When I got there, she felt I was too young to do the work so she fired me and replaced me with a Mexcian, but not before paying me $1 and giving me a Sprite. 

But my first official paycheck job was working at a car lot that my Dad worked at. I was hired for $3.00 an hour to paint a long fence that led up a long driveway that got you to the lot. It took about 2 weeks or so, and I painted it in July in St. George. It was regularly 113 degrees or so, but I don't remember drinking much water while working. I did wear a black shirt on the first day, though, and regretted that. My Dad set me up with a radio to listen to, and I painted the whole fence and slopped white paint everywhere but didn't really know any better.

Lots of people at the lot complimented me on freshening up the fence, and when that project was over, they put me to work picking up cigarette butts off of the asphalt on the car lot. That lasted for 2 more weeks, after which point I somehow parlayed it into working in the auto detailing garage. Since I had finally made it to the show, I asked me boss for a $.25 raise and got it. I was making $3.25, and was just 13 years old. I think official minimum wage was $4 or $4.25 but at 13 I was grateful for anything, and it gave me some money with which to sustain my horrible music habit at the time, which consisted of the entirety of Paul McCartney's solo career and Broadway showtunes. 

It wasn't the best environment but several days a week my Mom would take me over after school and I would work for at least 3 hours with high school dropouts and garage rat-type guys, who told the world's grossest stories and jokes and listened to nothing but Pantera, and would clean cars. They often talked about philosophy and what it all meant, and I tried to get my supervisor to go to church with me once but he told me 'the pews would catch on fire' if he attended. Oh well, I tried.

There was a cool blonde guy named Jarren who worked there and who smoked like a chimney but was really nice to me and taught me how to use the pressure washer. We were just in a garage and there was a constant stream of new and used cars to clean. 

The new cars were the easiest since all you did was take the plastic off the entire interior, give it a proforma vacuuming, and send it on its way. The used ones took a lot more work. We usually shampoo'd the carpets on the used ones, which wasn't super fun since it was rough on your hands. Every other day we would wash all the cars on the lot via a long hose, and I would be voted the monkey to have to go in and Windex the interior windows. Which was great because the insides of the cars were only about 175 degrees and the Windex we had was, I think, made out of Agent Orange. Somehow I didn't asphyxiate in the cars as we went on for hours making our rounds.

The whole thing ended unexpectedly when I got a new supervisor and he cheerfully advised me they wouldn't be requiring my services anymore. I think it had something to do with the fact that I didn't have a driver's license and thus had a difficult time working at a job that required you to constantly move cars around. 

He made it seem like I would be welcome back when business required it, and I took him up on that offer sometime later when I had my license. But I remember nothing about that subsequent experience other than that I was required to occasionally shuttle people to the airport who were having their cars repaired by the body shop, and one time I drove a nice lady and her young sons to the airport and got them all laughing with some kind of humorous banter I was doing, and the mom tipped me $5, which to this day is the biggest tip I've ever received.

THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE JOB:

That you could be surrounded by a bad environment but not let it rub off on you. Also, that if Earth is ever attacked by an indestructible super villain, the best place to put him would be inside a 1992 Geo Hatchback in July in St. George, UT. He'll be dead within seconds.

Delay or Defund

So on the whole Obamacare debate, I'm torn between two really interesting ideas, neither of which are mine.

First, I don't get the 'delay the individual mandate' strategy. Yes, it will have a negative impact on the economy. So? We didn't vote for it, so why minimize the pain? The part you want people to not get hooked on is the subsidies, and those start right away. So what's the point of delaying the individual mandate for a year? I don't get that at all. The more chaos, the better the chance of electing a president who can repeal the whole thing in 2016.

So onto the two ideas. The first is, 'let it burn.' Just enact anything the Democrats want and crash the system that much faster. If we believe in our ideals, and we do, then we believe that this law will all be a disaster. So bring it on. A really good article that illustrates this is from Daniel Henninger at the Wall Street Journal here. The key quotes are:

If ObamaCare fails, or seriously falters, the entitlement state will suffer a historic loss of credibility with the American people. It will finally be vulnerable to challenge and fundamental change. But no mere congressional vote can achieve that. Only the American people can kill ObamaCare.

No matter what Sen. Ted Cruz and his allies do, ObamaCare won't die. It would return another day in some other incarnation. The Democrats would argue, rightly, that the ideas inside ObamaCare weren't defeated. What the Democrats would lose is a vote in Congress, nothing more.

Republicans and conservatives, instead of tilting at the defunding windmill, should be working now to present the American people with the policy ideas that will emerge inevitably when ObamaCare's declines. 

If Republicans feel they must "do something" now, they could get behind Sen. David Vitter's measure to force Congress to enter the burning ObamaCare castle along with the rest of the American people. Come 2017, they can repeal the ruins.

This would be my default opinion as well. But then I read something like this from William Jacobsen at Legal Insurrection, and I'm not so sure. The key quotes:

[Anatoly] Sharansky spent almost a decade in Soviet prison because of his activities on behalf of Jews who wanted to emigrate to Israel. Sharansky was subjected to torture and other indignities, but never lost his spirit.

Sharansky spent nine years in the Gulag, a harrowing time in which he demonstrated what resistance is. More than 400 of those days were spent in punishment cells; more than 200 were spent on hunger strikes. His refusal to concede anything to the Soviet state was almost superhuman. This was true to the very last. When they relinquished him to the East Germans, they told him to walk straight to a waiting car — “Don’t make any turns.” Sharansky zig-zagged his way to that car.

Had it been the fight against Obamacare, supposedly wiser people than he would have counseled caution, urging him to wait until the Soviet Union collapsed of its own weight to make his stand.  Not realizing that stands such as that taken by Sharansky in the snow ultimately would cause the collapse.

Interesting choices, huh? 

Kid quotes 9/27/13

• Today Maddie told me, “At church, someone told me Jesus can see through roofs of buildings.” 
• This morning she said “I like telling jokes. Maybe that’s my destiny.” I said, “Your destiny?!” She got embarrassed and said, “Or watching shows. I love to watch shows on my pad. Maybe that’s my destiny.”
• Tonight Emme turned to me and for the first time said "Hi." The only words she can say are Momma, Dadda, DeeDee (Maddie), and yeese (yes). And now, apparently, "Hi."

Random thought

People usually say that either "the song you brang to me" or "no one heard at all, not even the chair" is Neil Diamond's worst lyric. However, I think that "me and you are subject to the blues now and then" is a dark horse contender.

Kevin D. Williamson

""Politicians are always building Utopias, but the curious thing is that none of them wants to live there."

-Kevin D. Williamson

The 5 Best Discontinued Foods

Life is unfair. This I know because the universe has cancelled various foodstuffs over the years and has never brought them back.

There is a special kind of agony inherent with experiencing excellent food being cancelled. Knowing that it will likely never come back gives you a helpless feeling not unlike saying goodbye to someone who is dying. Sure, you'll see them again in the eternities. But that doesn't help me now, here on Earth, where there are stressful days to get through and a limited number of increasingly mediocre snackstuffs.

Tonight we pay homage to our fallen brethren. RIP.

5. OLD WISCONSIN HONEY TERIYAKI BEEF JERKY

While I lived in Wisconsin, I experimented and tried a local flavor of beef jerky from a brand called Old Wisconsin. Now, I am just guessing at the flavor name. I think it was honey teriyaki, but I'm not positive. All I remember is that it was one giant, long piece of meat, that was a little bit pricey (if memory serves, $8 or $9 bucks or so), and it was the single best piece of beef jerky I had ever tasted in my entire life.

I was only in Wisconsin for a little less than 2 years, but I bought it as often as I could afford to, not realizing that its days were numbered. One day, the store stopped stocking them. I went to other stores. They weren't there. I went to others. No sign.

Finally, I wrote my first-ever letter to a company. It was to Old Wisconsin, via their website. I asked where their incredible beef jerky went, and they said it was cancelled due to lack of interest. I told them that I found this news to be nearly devastating, and asked them to tell me as soon as it went back on the market. They said they would. I'm still waiting.

Today, Old Wisconsin has started back up a different line of beef jerky. When I saw that they had, I bought it immediately, even though the only option was like to by 8 at a time on Amazon. When it arrived, I was very worried to try it, for fear that it wouldn't be right. I tried it, and while it was good, it wasn't the original recipe. And it wasn't even close.

Old Wisconsin, bring back the old style. I will pay top dollar. Like, thousands, if you need. I will mortgage my home. Let's work out a deal.

4. COCONUT TWIX










This only existed for a really brief window around 2010 or 11 or so. I tried it just once-it was excellent. I love normal Twix anyway, but adding coconut to it was an inspired move. But like a TV show that gets cancelled after 1 episode, they yanked it almost immediately. Of all the items on this list, this one is the one I think has the least worst chance of coming back and being probably the same. I'll update this post in 20 years and we'll see if I'm right.

3. HONEY BBQ CHEETOS PUFFS

These were a pretty brief sales window as well, and I only ever got to have them in little snack sizes since the only place in all of Texas that I could find that sold them was my work vending machine. I bought up all that they had. They were delicious but awful. Like Sweet Spicy Chili-flavored Doritos, Honey BBQ Cheetos Puffs make you want to die. They were exquisite but made you feel like absolute garbage, like you were eating nothing but a bucket of grease and sugar. They were so good, they were bad. And they were done way too soon.

2. BBQ PORK, PANDA EXPRESS

Last year, for reasons unknown, Panda Express decided to pull a Spinal Tap and become 'more selective' in their appeal. Now, I like their Orange Chicken OK. But it's nothing without a serving of BBQ Pork to even it out.

The funny thing about BBQ Pork is that it was NEVER, EVER, EVER ready. They always had a spot for it, and I would always order it, and they would say ''it will take 4 minutes," as if that would deter me, and I would say, "great, I'll be over here, waiting," and they would go to the back room and get it and warm it up and bring it out and cut it up into pieces and get it to me. And it was incredible every time. Sweet and rich and delicious.

I figured it was only a matter of time before they discontinued it. Why else would they never have it ready? It must have been expensive for them (I assume so, since if it's anything like the cost of bacon, it's likely way pricey now), because they replaced it with a lame teriyaki chicken, which sucks.

So this is likely the only food on here whose existence I can directly blame on Obama, due to insanely high gas prices thanks to his anti-fossil fuel energy policies that drove up the cost of pork. Thanks a lot.

1. TERIYAKI FLAT IRON STEAK, GORDON BIERSCH

This was discovered entirely on accident. Jan and I had just been married about 1 month prior and we were in Pasadena on a mini-follow-up-honeymoon. I had to go there for my work so I brought her out and stayed a few days and we went to Disneyland and the beach and old town Pasadena and had a lot of fun.

But when it was time to go back to UT, we missed our plane and had to stay at a hotel near the Burbank airport. We didn't have our rental car anymore so we had to walk that night to find anything to eat. There was a Gordon Biersch nearby, which we had never heard of. We went in and I had the teriyaki steak.

I could go on and on but suffice it to say, it's the best steak I've ever had, anywhere, even comparing it to places where I've had steaks that were $75 each (fortunately, work vendors foot the bill on those outings-I'm not that crazy).

Every place we've ever moved, we have checked specifically for a Gordon Biersch so we can make sure we have access to the flat iron teriyaki steak. We were glad to see that there was a GB in downtown Brickell, which is right here in Miami close to South Beach.

We drove there about a month ago to fill up on steak and were floored when we checked the menu and found it wasn't there. We got back in the car and went elsewhere. I'm sure they have other nice things on the menu, but it's a pricey restaurant and I'm not going to pay top dollar for a distant 2nd place alternative.

If it ever brings it back, we'll return. But a company that decides to kill its best menu item doesn't instill me with hope. RIP, Flat Iron Teriyaki Steak. At least 2008-2013.

Book Review: Down a Dark Hall, by Lois Duncan

For the life of me I have no idea where I got the recommendation to read this book. Apparently Stephanie Meyer (Twilight) is trying to get this book made into a movie and is going to produce it? But that still doesn't account for what prompted me to seek this one out. I think someone recommended it on a blog, and the cover looked good?

Well, you know what they say about judging a book by its cover: before doing so, you should check and see if the book was written for 13 year-old girls in the early 70s. Because this one was.

Kit or Kat or Kate or something like that is the main character, and she's headed to Blackwood Academy, a fancy private school for girls deep in the woods in spooky upstate New York while her mom goes on a honeymoon with her new husband (her first husband, Kit's father, was killed several years ago).

When she gets there, she's amazed to find that there are only 3 other students. Ruth, Sandy, and...Julie? Julia? Something like that. Also there's a very stern headmistress, whose name escapes me, and a nice old man named Professor Something or other, and the headmistress has a 'dreamy' college-aged son. His name is Jules, which I remember because the girls spend much of the book flirting with him.

Everyone starts to have strange but incredibly boring hallucinations and dreams. One girl dreams that someone was in her room with her. Kat thinks she sees a guy behind her in a dark hall (apparently the same one from the title) in a mirror. And then the girls start producing amazing works of art and science, showing skills that they never had before. It's incredible! Where did these skills come from?

Answer: from dead people. The girls are all psychic, sort of, or at one point saw a ghost, and thus are on the right wavelength to have been specifically selected to attend the school and become an unwilling vessel for these famous people, who range from Schubert to Emily Dickinson and other girly celebrities from the 19th century, to use to produce the poems and music and paintings and advanced math they've been working on since dying.

The characters are about as deep as a puddle, and the story isn't scary. The book took me a very painful 4 weeks to read, and I refused to put it down because I was positive it was going to get scary or good on the very next page, thus confirming whatever it was that prompted me to wait in line for and eventually check the book out.

In the end, that never happened. As a 30-something year-old guy, I can't recommend the book to other guys of most any age. As a 13 year-old girl in 1972 or so, I think the book is dreamy and is horrifying, especially the part where there's a fire and a ghost almost appears but doesn't.

Garry Kasparov

 

"Sorry but I would rather have free people than free healthcare."

-Garry Kasparov

 

Book Review: The Monster of Florence, by Douglas Preston with Mario Spezi

Ever since I stopped taking the train into work, I've had a lot of trouble maintaining my reading habits. I still read, almost every day-but not nearly as much as when I had 90 minutes a day of free reading time.

To supplement this, I've started picking up audio books and listening to more podcasts. My latest audiobook was The Monster of Florence - a fascinating true crime novel about Italy's 'Jack the Ripper'-style serial killer.

The book is pretty explicit about the murders-they're murders, of course. But the murders are the least interesting thing about it. The fascinating part is the investigation and all of the bizarre suspects and the insane twists that the investigation would wind up taking.

The murders occurred from 1968-1985 or so, and the officials actually even convicted several people of the crimes. The author makes an incredible case that they got the entire thing wrong and the actual killer roams free. They show how the police got onto the wrong trail fairly early on and just started ignoring evidence that contradicted their story.

Eventually the FBI did a profile on the serial killer for Italy, and Italy buried it because it didn't remotely match the profile of their primary suspect. Ultimately the author and his Italian counterpart would wind up becoming a part of the story when the police strike back at them for starting to expose the ridiculous loopholes in their case.

It's an incredible story, even though it's pretty frustrating to see the obvious murderer completely evade the slightest bit of police interest. If you are interested in it, I strongly recommend picking up the audiobook, which has an excellent vocal artist who reads it and does an excellent job on the various accents throughout. I absolutely can't imagine reading this book as opposed to listening to the CDs.

And be forewarned: there is a small amount of language in the book and the murders are very disturbing, and not in an 'entertaining' way the way modern TV would have you believe. This is true crime, so these poor people really did experience these terrible crimes. Fortunately there's a Higher Power to dole out justice in the end.

Wikipedia Brown and the Case of the Screaming Cave

It was a beautiful Saturday morning in Idaville and Wikipedia Brown was just sliding up to the breakfast table. His father, Police Chief Brown, was having a warm cup of hot chocolate. Outside, the leaves on the trees had turned red and were starting to fall.

"Gonna be nippy out there today, eh Dad?" said Wikipedia. His real name was Leroy, but no one called him that.

"I'll say!" replied Chief Brown. Just then, they both heard a bone-chilling sound: a long and piercing scream.

"What in tarnation!?" they both exclaimed. They ran out of the house and hopped in Chief Brown's Land Rover, speeding off in the direction of the screams.

They turned down a dirt road, and went past a rickety old sign, which read "Screaming Cave."

"Screaming Cave? Why have I never heard of that before?" said the Chief. "We've lived here for over 20 years."

"That's because it wasn't named that before today," replied Wikipedia Brown.

"What? What did it used to be called?"

Consulting his smartphone, Wikipedia replied, "Booger Cave."

"Uh...that doesn't sound right to me," said the Chief.
 "Don't you believe me, Dad?"
 "Uh...well..."

Just then, another scream pierced the air. The Chief unholstered his gun and they jumped out of the car.

"Did you know this cave was originally used to smuggle millions of dollars of pirate gold?" said Wikipedia. "Son, we're in the middle of Canada-there's no possible way that pirates ever set foot within about 3,000 miles of here." "Dad, I wish you wouldn't question me all the time. After all, I'm always right! Well, eventually...unless I change my mind or someone corrects me."

They walked into the cave and the screaming stopped suddenly. Just then, it started up again, seemingly on a loop. Wikipedia Brown noticed a CD player on the ground, in a corner. "Did you know the CD was invented in 1997 by Charles Darwin, Dad? That's why it's abbreviated "CD."

But Chief Brown had his hands full. Literally! He was wrestling with a scary pirate! Wikipedia jumped back and exclaimed, "Goodness, it really was pirates! See! I was right!"

Chief Brown subdued the suspect, pinned him to the ground, and read him his rights. He wasn't talking, so he led him to the Land Rover and tossed him in the back seat, locking the doors.

"I wonder what that was all about?" he said as they drove to the police station.
"Isn't it obvious, Dad?" replied Wikipedia.
"How so?"
"Youuu'll see!"

They got to the police station and let the pirate out of the back seat. Wikipedia walked up to him and said, "I think the jig is up, Bugs Meanie!"

"Bugs Meanie, your school nemesis!?" said Chief Brown. "The same." Wikipedia clawed at the pirate's face to pull off a mask, but he scratched it instead, drawing a small line of blood.

"Holy mackrell, he's a real pirate!" said Wikipedia Brown. "But pirates went extinct in 7,000 B.C.!"

"Actually, my name is Princess Justine," replied the 'pirate,' "and I bring you peace from the Planet Naboo."

"He's just a lunatic!" replied the Chief, and he had him booked for disorderly conduct based on Idaville's Public Nuisance laws.

"Well, looks like another case solved," said Wikipedia.

HOW DID WIKIPEDIA BROWN KNOW THAT THE CASE WAS SOLVED?

A: Because Planet Naboo wasn't named one of the official planets in the Solar System until 6,000 B.C., so the pirate couldn't have been a real pirate. Also because the pirate's costume consisted of a plastic eyepatch, some board shorts, and a Dave Matthews Band t-shirt.


ANOTHER CASE CLOSED, THANKS TO WIKIPEDIA BROWN!

Next week: Wikipedia Brown and the case of the Robot Dinosaur

Book Review: The Cuckoo's Calling by J.K. Rowling (as Robert Galbraith)

Hope you like swearing! And interviews!

So The Cuckoo's Calling is a fairly weak murder mystery from J.K. Rowling, who wrote it as a pseudonym, probably because it sucks. Now, it doesn't suck too much in terms of writing style; it's written competently, and the dialogue is very good, and the structure of the individual chapters is realistic and well composed. It sucks for reasons outside of those.

First up, the language. No need whatsoever for it to be so profanity-laden, and it does detract from the story. It also has some fairly ridiculous character names (the main character is named Cormoran Strike) and it has a very large plot hole that undoes the entire book. Below are spoilers.

A supermodel is murdered, but everyone, including the police, are flatly convinced it is a suicide. The model's brother hires a failing private detective to investigate it, particularly the mystery of a masked runner who was caught on CCTV running away from the murder shortly after it was committed, very late at night.

It turns out that the runner was the model's long-lost brother, who was visiting her at 2 am and was masked. Uh-huh. He saw her fall from her apartment balcony, and it spooked him so he ran. And the brother who hired the private detective was the murderer. So....

1) Why did he hire a detective to prove that his sister was murdered? What murderer does that?
2) Why did the long-lost brother flee the scene, and why was he even there at all at 2 am? No one would do that. And why was he masked?

The answers the book provides:

1) None, although you sort of gather from the subtext that it was so the detective could find the long lost brother runner, who you assume is a 'loose end,' even though when they do find him he is 100% convinced he witnessed a suicide. Why put the detective onto the murder idea? Why not just do a missing person investigation, like to find the runner so you can see if he knew 'why the model killed herself.' There are far less risky ways to have gone about this without hiring a detective to basically convict you of murder.
2) "She was eccentric" and wanted him to come over late at night. He was masked because it was cold, officially, but unofficially it was so that he wouldn't be easily identified on the CCTV, thus giving a reason for this ridiculous plot to exist.

There are other problems but it's not worth going into really, other than to say that 95% of the book is the detective interviewing suspects in real time. Each chapter is some other person he talks to and gets slightly more of the puzzle from. The limo driver, the fashion designer, the friend, blah blah blah.

It's not funny, it's not interesting, it's really not worth your time unless you're a dispassionate admirer of writing from a technical standpoint, and only then just on a chapter-level. Structure-wise, the book is a mess. Who wants to read 400 straight pages of witness interviews? There is no action in this book. Nothing happens to anyone. The detective makes appointments for his interviews and people go to them and he talks to them and writes it down.

I would say that I could write a better book, but of course if I could I would have done so by now and bloggers could be ripping on it AS WE SPEAK and I will chuckle from my writing mansion, saying 'sucks to be you, bloggers,' while I ride around on my solid gold horse. (It has wheels.)

But since I haven't done any of these things, your best bet is to read something else. Maybe this blog? I get like a penny or so every time you read something, so go read 100 things and I will be able to buy most of a fourth of a gallon of gas.

Yay?

Dusk Sector Episode 1: The Grave Digger

 

You are traveling along a dark road. You don't know how you got here, or where you're going. Up ahead you see a truck stop. You miss it, but fortunately there's a light further ahead where you do a U-ie. You've just crossed over into...The Dusk Sector.

Meet Charles Major, age 39. It's been a long day and, tired from work, Mr. Major decides to take a walk to clear his head. Unfortunately, this may be the last walk he ever takes.

[Charles walks along a dark sidewalk. He stops to get his bearings, but he finds that the road is too dark and he can't read his map. Further away, he sees a dim light. He heads towards it, only to find it is on the other side of the spooky Oakville Cemetery.]

Charles: This certainly is a spooky old cemetery.
Gravedigger: You can say that again.
C: AAAaah!
G: Oh, sorry about that. I thought you saw me.
C: Oh, well, sorry, sir. I saw a light...that must have been you.
G: A light, eh?
C: ....
G: ....
C: *coughs*
G: Anyway, come with me.

Charles and the spooky gravedigger, who is just as spooky as the old spooky cemetery but even more so, walk through the darkness. They pass many statues and spooky tombstones. They reach an area where the Gravedigger has been digging a new grave. There is a lantern hung up in the trees. It is swaying spookily.

C: Ah-ha, this is where I saw the light coming from.
G: Must have been, I suppose. I need some light so I can do my work.
C: Well don't stop on my account. I just need to get my bearings.
G: Suit yerself...but I need to git back t' work.

Charles isn't sure why the Gravedigger has started talking like a prospector, but he takes out his map and tries to locate his surroundings. The Gravedigger keeps on digging a new grave.

G: Well, I think that's deep enough!
C: (Looking over) Yes, that looks pretty deep.

Just then, Charles notices the tombstone for the grave. It reads: Charles Major: 1921-1960. Lightning strikes across the sky and thunder roars.

C: It...it can't be!
G: Oh, but it is, laddie.

Now sounding like a Scottish highlander, the Gravedigger pulls a rope and a coffin drops from the tree, landing in the hole. The door pops open and inside lays Charles Major.

C: Nooo!
G: (Laughs maniacally)
C: That's so weird, he has my same name but he died over 53 years ago! How weird of a coincidence is that?
G: No so weird. Charles Major is a fairly common name around these parts. Buried about 3 of them in the last 6 months, in fact.
C: Crazy!
G: Indeed.
C: Well, I think I've found my way, so I'll be headed off. Have a good night!
G: You too! Travel safely.

Charles Major walks safely home to his wife and kids, and has a pleasant evening. Never quite realizing that he is lucky to be alive after spending a night in...The Dusk Sector.