Monday, November 10, 2008

Political fairy tale

President-Elect Barack Obama and a moderate voter were standing by a large river.

"Will you take me across this river, moderate voter?" asked Obama.

"Well, I don't know," replied the moderate voter. "I voted for you, but I heard you're a lot more liberal than the mainstream media portrayed you to be. How can I know that you won't sting me?"

"I give you my word, as God is my witness, that I will not sting you. It's just that there's a Whole Foods store on the other side of this river and there's a sale on arugula, and I really don't want to get my new Berluti shoes wet."

"I'm still not sure," replied the moderate voter.

"It will be OK," said Obama. "All you have to do is hope hard enough, and the water will change into a river of shiny quarters!"

"Wow!" replied the voter. "Alright, let's do it."

So President-Elect Barack Obama climbed onto the voter's shoulders and they started to cross the river. However, when they were half-way through, President-Elect Obama issued an executive order to close down Guantanamo Bay and release the terrorists into the US, and a band of roving terrorists came by and shot the moderate voter and burned his house down.

As they began to sink into the water, the moderate voter said "But you promised!" to which President-Elect Obama replied "You knew what I was when you first saw me." The moderate voter replied "No...I believe everything the mainstream media tells me-I really didn't."

The end.


Shannon said...

You won't see THIS fairy tale told anywhere but here! Christian, Christian, why must you be such a hate monger as you cling so bitterly to your guns and your religion?

Hillary said...

Who needs guns for protection when you can fight the terrorists with a spicy leafy green vegetable?

Shannon said...


Carlee Hoopes said...

I swear there was a BYU film about this once..."You knew what I was when you picked me up." Although, I think it was a snake instead of a president-elect. Either way, both slimy.

I'm with Hilary. Kory and I have discovered that leafy greens provide the best form of protection. No need for guns. I hear the president-elect plans to impose a 500% tax on guns when he takes his oath, so leafy greens will be the much more economical alternative as well.

Hillary said...

Don't be so sure Carlee. I mean have you been to Whole Foods lately and seen what they charge for arugula? I haven't. Partly because I believe in a completely processed foods diet. If it's not oreos and milk, I'm not having it for breakfast. But according to Obama, it's incredibly expensive. Therefore I will waive my right of national defense/security so we can bring down the price of arugula.

Afterall, the terrorists don't want to kill us. They just want to talk to us and hug it out.

Carlee Hoopes said...

Hilary, it might help if I read the links Christian so thoughtfully placed throughout his post.

So we're basically out of luck. I mean, now that none of us can afford guns or rare leafy greens, what now? Oh wait, I forgot, Obama just got elected and he's gonna fix all our problems. No more mortgage or gas payments for me. Obama saves the day!

Sorry Christian, I think this comment thread has gone somewhere you never intended and I'm rather confused by what I just wrote.